Who is Your Swim Buddy?

Swim Buddies are critical in SEAL operations.  In resilience training, swim buddies are critical as well, but in a different way.  In training, we were taught not to be more than 6 feet away from your swim buddy.  During 100% Oxygen operations, this is critical because the symptoms of Oxygen Toxicity, a condition that can happen at any time during oxygen diving, can be deadly.  Your swim buddy can save your life.  In my resilience classes, individuals have a difficult time relating some of the military concepts that I teach to a more "normal" and safe life.  The principles of the swim buddy apply 100% to civilian life.  Let me explain how.  A swim buddy can be a close friend, spouse, even a sibling who has been there for you during difficult times.  A swim buddy holds you accountable and is not afraid to let you know that you screwed up.  A swim buddy is a sounding board during a crisis or life changing event.  At a minimum, when you call a swim buddy, they will answer the phone or get back with you fairly quickly.  

Accountability is a huge part of developing a resilient life style and developing the concept of self-leadership.  A swim buddy is their to hold you accountable.  However, accountability works in both directions.  By nature of the relationship, you are the swim buddy to your swim buddy.  That means that you have to be there for them just as much as they are there for you.  I remember an exercise in dive training where we would buddy breath off of the same closed circuit rebreather.  This was very complicated because it involved extra steps that are not the same as in traditional open circuit SCUBA.  The extra steps meant more time without life giving oxygen, and the steps required practice and trust.  Swim buddy in the SEAL Teams takes on a whole new meaning when you are in the dark, cold, and without oxygen!  

Remember to always be there for your swim buddy.  Think of some attributes that you have in your swim buddy.  What are some of the characteristics that you have that make you a great swim buddy?  Write down a list of people that you consider your swim buddies and then a list of people that consider you to be their swim buddy.  This week, introduce this concept to individuals who have not heard of it.  Remember, we were meant to face adversity with close friends who can count on us as much as we can count on them!

Dr. N

P.S. You can join our conversation on this topic here.  

Emotional Intelligence: How Do You Measure Up?

This week we focus our attention on the concept of Emotional Intelligence.  Even if you have heard of this concept, it’s always a great idea to refocus our attention on this important concept.  Emotional Intelligence can be broken down into 5 elements; self awareness, self regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.  Self Awareness is a form of “self empathy”, where you take a critical look at yourself and determine how your behavior may or may not affect others.  Self Regulation, we keep our emotions in check and keep our impulses under control, especially when we want to lash out at others.   Motivation involves our ability to follow through with whatever mission we have been tasked with or finding the “why” again in the mission that we are currently undertaking.  Empathy is the ability to feel what others are feeling and even apply the Golden Rule in leading by example.  Having social skills is self explanatory, but individuals with these skills are great at motivating others and keeping their team driving in one, effective direction.  Please read the article here for more details on these explanations.  After you have read the article, identify your top 5 Emotional Intelligence strengths and weaknesses.  What specific steps are you going to take to eliminate your weaknesses?  Feel free to join us in our discussion on this topic (and more) on our forum here.  

Quitting is not an option...or is it?

This week I want to focus our attention on quitting. I remember reading a saying in a gymnastics training center “you are not finished when you fail, you are finished when you quit!” This saying resonated so much with me that I think about it almost everyday, especially when I train really hard and quitting enters my mind. I think it is a normal reaction to think about quitting. Acting on it, however, is where we separate success from failure. When you quit, you are done. However, are there any instances in your life when you did quit something and that was OK? Being resilient may mean quitting things that are damaging to your body. Quitting drugs, for example, is a good thing. How do you differentiate the good quitting from the bad quitting? Perhaps you should think about not starting something unless you are nearly 100% certain that you can devout your energy and attention towards that something? Let's discuss some of the pros and cons of quitting this week.  Join us this week for a discussion on quitting here:  http://www.hpconsulting.pro/forum/.

"Lean into it!"

Ed Naggiar

Failing to Achieve a Goal: How do You Measure Success?

Have you ever set a goal for yourself and then not achieved it 100%?  How did that make you feel?  If you have ever failed anything in your life read on; if you are 100% successful, exit and write an article for the rest of us to emulate you.  True resilience is built on the notion that you learn from your failures and adjust as necessary to be more successful in the future.  In fact, that is the measure of true success and not just blind luck.  

    This weekend I raced in one of the biggest paddleboard races on the East Coast.  It is the Carolina Cup and it attracted the largest crowd of any race in the world, over 500 total racers.  If anyone has taken my 2 day Mission Based Resilience Course (and I truly hope that you have), we develop Resilience Training Plans (RTPs) in the four human dimensions: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  During the course of the class, I use examples from my own life to show students what a training plan looks like.  Every training plan has 3 components:

1. Mission/Goal (quantifiable and temporal, i.e. linked to a time and date)
2. Execution/Tasks (that support the Mission/Goal) 
3. Accountability in the form of a swim buddy 

    My Physical Resilience Training Plan for this past weekend was to finish the race in the top 10% of the field at the Carolina Cup.  I executed the plan over the past 4 months with rigorous Stand Up Paddleboard training, weight/resistance training, Heart Rate Training, nutrition, and even sleep and visualization training.  I was ready and I was being held accountable by my peers every step of the way. I felt strong during the race and after a shaky start, I got into my groove and finished the race feeling better than I have ever felt.  My heart rate definitely showed that I had pushed myself.  However, I failed to finish in the top 10%.  I was happy with my performance, since I shaved nearly 45 minutes from my time from last year, finishing the race in 2 hours, 36 minutes.  All things being equal, I DID NOT accomplish the goal that I set out for myself.  This happens to us a lot, doesn’t it?  What do we do about it?  What steps do we take?  Using the right methodology with these simple goals (such as the one mentioned above) will help us to develop strong habits of resilience when a more important goal is not attained.

    I think in our society we tend to try to make everyone “feel good” which is a noble effort.  However, achieving excellence has never, and will never be linked to simply making people “feel good.”  Ask yourself this question: if you have set a goal lately (and I hope that you have), is it a realistic goal?  Is it too easy that you know that you will achieve it?  Is it too difficult and lofty that you may never achieve it?  Hint: both of the aforementioned statements need to be adjusted.  Choose a goal that is realistic, challenging, yet attainable.  To grow, you must challenge yourself; that applies to the psychological as well as the physical.  

    For me it is back to the drawing board on this race.  I have an average speed that I need to attain in order to break into the top 10% of the field 6mph.  That speed is well out of reach.  However, in order to break into the top 50% I need to have an average speed of 5.5 mph, which, in my opinion, is attainable.  So that will be my new goal.  A goal that is not too lofty (6mph), but challenging (my current pace is 5-5.2 mph).  Putting this much thought into your goals is important because it is not simply the fact that you are trying to go faster on a paddleboard or get a certain certification for your workplace.  It is the fact that you are striving and reaching for a goal and again learning the mechanics of how to do that!  That is more important than the goal itself.  

    How many of you have heard about the old adage that the journey is more important than the end?  That is what this is all about.  The struggle to achieve the goal, and the lessons that you learn from that struggle, is what is important.  So even if you fail at something and you don’t achieve your goal, the lessons that you learn and the character that you build result in overall true success.  So the next time somebody simply tries to pump you up after you have failed to achieve a goal, look at yourself critically and think, “what can I do and what adjustments do I need to make in order to accomplish this goal in the future?”  Don’t let the “feel good” mentality of this society lull you into a false sense of mediocrity.  Become successful not through your achievements, but in how you react and conquer your failures!  

Two of my 5 Kids and me at the Carolina Cup, right before the race!

Dr. N

The Hidden Effects of Spring Break on our First Responders

      My name is Ed Naggiar and I am a proud resident of Bay County, Florida.  I am a retired Navy SEAL Officer with a PhD in Industrial Organizational Psychology and I have have the privilege of being the lead resilience trainer for Bay County First Responders, specifically Bay County Sheriff’s Office (BCSO). Resilience is what we use to describe the “bounce back” that one feels when confronted with a stressful situation. Needless to say, these brave men and women risk their lives daily for all of the residents of Bay County, whether these residents are permanent or visiting.  

    As everyone knows, Spring Break brings thousands of visitors to our County.  Some of these visitors are families or college students looking for some relaxation and fun.  However, over the past few years, Spring Break in Panama City has attracted a much more different crowd.  A crowd that concentrates on crime, alcohol, drugs, stabbing, and even shooting as its primary source of entertainment.  Because of the added influx of these individuals and the actions that they undertake, 911 calls increase by almost 100% over the Spring Break period and the resulting crime skyrockets!  The resulting stress caused by these events can be overwhelming.  And a hormone secreted during the stress reaction is responsible for the hidden damage experienced by our First Responders.

    The stress reaction produces a hormone called cortisol.  This hormone is secreted by the adrenal cortex (the outer part of the adrenal glands on top of your kidneys) and in the short run, stimulates your ability to survive during a life threatening event, like pulling over a suspect that has an AK-47 in the back of his car (this actually happened when I was on shift with the BCSO).  Cortisol does this by giving you the energy boost that you need to fight or run away; the standard fight or flight response we all learned in school.  But here is the rub.  If left to run wild, too much cortisol can have devastating effects.  There are many negative effects, such as weight gain, alcoholism, sleep disorders, immune system suppression, cancer, heart disease and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, just to name a few.  So what can we do about this?  Is this just another one of those things we chalk up as, “Hey, they volunteered for it and it is part of their job?”  When a soldier goes into combat, that soldier must undergo training.  Stress training and how to deal with the negative effects of the uncontrollable should be an integral part of what we provide our First Responders.  Unfortunately, we do not budget this type of training.  So we let our First Responders go into pure chaos without the proper psychological training and wonder why they end up turning to food, alcohol, or worse, to cope with the stress.  

    The night I went out with BCSO was pure chaos.  The pure insanity that I saw happening on the beach on my ride along could definitely be characterized as a war zone.  There were two shootings and one stabbing that night, and none of them were related to each other.  While we were responding to a shooting at the Holiday Inn, a gentleman walked out with a stab wound and was almost run down by our responding vehicles.  After exiting the vehicle and observing the chaos, I realized that this was a combined, continuous effort from Fire Fighters, Sheriff’s Deputies, Panama City Beach Police Officers, and even Florida Highway Patrolmen.  And this rodeo had no signs of ending anytime soon.  As a scientist and former operator myself, I could only imagine how much cortisol was flowing through all the bodies of those brave men and women that night, and how much future damage was being caused to all of the husbands, fathers, mothers, and wives out there that night.

    The stresses of Spring Break are real.  They affect our First Responders in ways that I believe go unnoticed and untrained.  When I walk through the offices of BCSO now, I see a different atmosphere than before Spring Break.  I see men and women who are tired and depressed, both mentally and physically.  From a scientific perspective, Spring Break elevates cortisol levels (and keeps them elevated) for far too long.  Something needs to be done.  Spring Break definitely has a monetary cost, but the hidden health costs to our First Responders is simply put, not right.

Ed R. Naggiar, PhD and retired U.S. Navy SEAL Officer

LEARN FROM THE PAST...PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE... LIVE IN THE MOMENT!

Life is heavily dependent on our points of view, our paradigms, how we see the world.  Living in the moment is very difficult to do these days.  Constant distractions make it almost impossible, but  we need to strive to do it.  Learning from the past is very useful, but dwelling in it can be damaging.  Preparing for the future is equally as useful; but always living for what will be can take away from those precious moments that we have in the present with our family and our friends.

But there is something even more important that we neglect if we do not live in the present.

The Great Wall: A testament of the past, present, and future.  

Not living in the present brings a certain self-deception of not living in reality.  We neglect our own psychological well being when we do not live in the present. Self deception occurs when we lie to ourselves; which is the most dangerous of the lies.  By constantly living in a world that does not exist (the future or the past), we essentially live a life that is not real or that is full of lies.  In practical terms, this occurs when we think about what might have been in the past or what will be in the future.  Both not grounded in reality!  An example of this is when people dream about winning the lottery or another far fetched event.  Time spent dreaming about  such things is time that can be spent enriching your own life, or better yet helping others to achieve their dreams.  Instead of dreaming about the future or regretting the past, how about developing concrete training plans that will help you to achieve your dreams, or write about an event that happened in the past to better learn from the positive and negative effects?  Of course this takes time, discipline, and a relentless pursuit of excellence.

Having a relentless introspective, critical view is essential for effective use of the past and the future, and not just wasting time.  

Studying the past is essential to human development and can be a fascinating adventure.  The past, however, can be full of mistakes or regrets. Learn from the mistakes and move on.  Take advantage of the past to more fully live in the moment.  Even if you made a serious mistake in the past, the only way to learn from it is to adopt a new set of behaviors that avoids the same mistake in the present.  Being stuck on the “what might  have beens” and “should have beens” only psychologically bogs you down and takes you away from  the  things  that you want to do in the present.  

Life is something that we need to live everyday.  Truly living in the moment requires thoughtful skill and the will to avoid distractions from the past and the future. Think about this the next time your mind starts to wander: our time on this earth is finite, don’t waste it on thoughts that take you away from truly enjoying your life and helping those around you enjoy their lives!  

Live in the moment, learn from  the past, and prepare for the future.

"Lean into it!"

Ed Naggiar

Conquer Your Fears!

I have been a swimmer for most of my life. I swam when the shot of a gun started a race and Mark Spitz was the immortal god of swimming. I went on through high school and college teaching the sport I loved more than anything. So when the chance to learn to scuba dive crossed my path, I was ecstatic. I was teaching elementary music at the time when my principal announced to the staff that the Navy was looking for 10 school teachers from Bay County, FL to certify in diving. The program was to be known as, “The Teacher Aquanauts.”

The school board wanted teachers to start implementing more science into the classrooms and thought this program would be an exciting way to introduce kids to the underwater world. The teachers were informed that there were many applicants with an extensive interview process. But I was ready and confident for anything thrown my way. After the lengthy application process and rigorous interviews, my goal was obtained and I made the official Teacher Aquanaut team.

After months of class work and countless Physical Training Evolutions (the Navy’s funny way of saying exercise), it was time to hit the water. Everything was perfect; our scuba gear was assembled, dive buddies paired up, and the water was a perfect temperature. So why was my heart beating out of my chest? Why were my palms sweating profusely? What could possibly be wrong? All I could think was, “This cannot be fear that I am feeling! I am a good swimmer for goodness sake! This was a really difficult program to get into. You can’t let your students down! What the heck is wrong with me?” Yes, that old, unwanted friend we call fear had paid a visit, and slowly started creeping in. I literally did not want to step foot into the water.  In order to conquer this initial fear, I actually visualized myself as a professional Navy diver and mentally rehearsed all the classroom training that we had done all the previous weeks. With that done, I was a little more confident and ready to give diving a try.

As we descended down into the unknown deep, uh.... pool that is, I could not get over the fact that I was able to breathe underwater. I know that sounds odd- after all, Scuba stands for: Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus, but the thought of breathing underwater freaked me out. I kept feeling that natural urge to push myself to the surface and take a breath, something I had been trained to do my whole life as a swimmer. In diving, however, going to the surface can be very dangerous, even deadly. Especially if you hold your breath (something one naturally does when scared). I didn’t like the feeling of all the heavy equipment on my back, or having to equalize my ears the further we descended into the water. I wanted so badly to say, “I am sorry, you picked the wrong person for this program. I want out!” But pride has always had a history with me, and quitting has never been an option. So I felt the fear, and did it anyway.

Feeling fear is not as important as how you react to it. When I felt the fear and panic coming on, I relaxed my breathing and self talked my way out of the problem. I kept a constant mantra to “relax” over and over, until my body was commanded by my mind to do it. Easier said than done when one is in such a different and unforgiving environment, i.e. high stress.

I finally got the hang of it and went on to do several open water dives. Do I like diving now? No. Not at all. I’d rather sing in front of a million people. But I did it and actually motivated a lot of kids to want to try it out. The Teacher Aquanauts lasted only two years, but they were the best two years of my life. Diving not only gave me a new found respect for the underwater world, but also taught me to “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” 

Hooyah to that!

Conquer your Fears and Lean into it! 

Casey Naggiar

No Regrets!

I overheard the hair stylist talking to her customer the other day as I sat in the barbershop. He commented on her youthfulness… saying, “You must have dropped out of high school to go to beautician’s school.” “No,” she replied. “But, I did take classes while in high school in order to get my license early.” The conversation, at first, appeared to be a pick-up line. The man said, “Oh, if I could go back to your age, while knowing what I know now.” Then it took a surprising twist because I was anticipating the man to say something like, “I would not have sold that hot rod I had or I would have asked more pretty girls out for dates instead of being shy.” But he didn’t. He kept quiet a moment and a different hairstylist chimed into the conversation to say, “I wouldn’t want to go back… the teenage years and my early twenties were difficult times.” That was when the man said, “Well, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t do the things that made those years so difficult.” And in his voice I heard the familiar sound of regret. That feeling, we all experience, when we look back on the past errors in life. Regret can be debilitating if it goes unresolved or ignored.

We should know that it is a mark of our humanity to carry regret. Someone once told me that the older he became the more he realized just how imperfect he is! Indeed, the mature person who has thrown away the childish ways will long to be able to go back and make different decisions that might not cause so much pain, so much regret.

Of course, life does not work that way, does it?  And though it can be sad to see regret in people or hear it in their voices, and it is terrible to have regret ourselves for the past decisions we’ve made. We need to know that these are the things that have shaped us into the people we are today. We may not be able to square up all our past errors, but we are far less likely to repeat them again because of what the encounters taught us.

There is a lot of randomness in life, but there is also a whole lot of purpose too. Look back on your life and you may come across a bump of regret. Perhaps you may still have the opportunity to balance it; but if not you can rejoice for you have been shaped into the person you are today by learning from your past.

"Lean into it!"

Tom Holdcraft

Thank Your Enemies!

Resilience is a dish best served cold...to be truly resilient, one must thank one's enemies.  

When you look up the definition of an oxymoron in the dictionary, you get: "a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction."  Thanking your enemy is as ludicrous as hating your loved ones; but, that is exactly what I am proposing that you do in this article.  As a Navy SEAL, this may sound completely ludicrous and weak.  But let me propose this: by thanking your enemies you make yourself stronger and more powerful, both psychologically and physically.  Here is the secret.  

View fullsize

Enemies often wore helmets to conceal their true identities, to intimidate their opponents, and to protect their heads...

Your enemy is any threat in combat.  But enemies don't always have to be people trying to kill you.  Off the battlefield, they can be people that want to see you fail or that you perceive as wanting to see you fail.  Sometimes, the biggest enemy that you will face will be yourself.  This internal enemy is the most powerful and dangerous of all.  This enemy can kill you much faster than any external enemy can even dream of doing.  That is where the line in the sand must be drawn.  By seeing your enemy (and your own negative thoughts) as a challenge and not an overpowering force, you begin to gain control over them.  

Seeing a threat as a challenge and ACTING on that challenge is one of the most effective coping mechanisms that you possess.  

It is very empowering.  You change the way you perceive your "enemy."  Your enemy becomes something to be learned, analyzed, and defeated.  Taking action will most certainly make you feel better.  Taking calculated and planned action will make you feel better AND increase the likelihood of success.  Think back to high school when your "enemy" was that super difficult professor that did not give you an inch on an assignment.  Or how about that rival school in football that was always taunting your team and made you feel like crap?  They were most certainly the "enemy."  Think back to how you felt about both of the above situations.  Did you feel helpless, angry, or frustrated?  Feeling this way is OK if it drives you to action.  Sometimes, we NEED to feel this way in order to drive us to a new level.  Using anger as fuel is OK, as long as you know what you are doing and don't burn yourself with it... 

As long as we recognize these negative feelings as a transition point or call to action; that is OK.  

 Embrace those feelings.  Let them fuel your challenge hormones and plan a countermove.  Train harder.  Study more effectively.  That is the only way to succeed in those situations.  Complaining about your teacher or lashing back at the rival team will not help you.  In fact, it may even damage you and sink you further into the self fulfilling prophecy of failure.

In 1985 I decided that I wanted to go into the Navy to pay for my college.  Neither of my parents had been in the military, and I had no relatives or friends that had been in the military.  I had never fired a gun and couldn't run, swim, or do pull-ups to save my own life.  But something inside of me said that I should join the a Navy and become a SEAL.  Maybe it was BECAUSE I was so opposite of what I would eventually become. I think it started with my own internal enemy telling me that I was not going to make it.  The "enemy" inside of me said that I was crazy.  All of my relatives said that I was crazy.  Even my own father said that I did not have "what it takes" to be a SEAL.  And yet, I still wanted to be one, bad.  The final straw came years later when my Marine Instructor in college brought me into his office and alluded to the fact that I would not make it through SEAL Training.  That was the last straw.  My anger swelled inside of me and I left his office knowing that I would make it through training, or die trying.  

All those "enemies" (and I use the term loosely here when mentioning my father) did not accomplish what they set out to accomplish because of my internal passion and relentless stubbornness to achieve my objective.  That is the secret to success in any endeavor.  Using the doubters (including your own self doubts) to activate your internal passion and finding a way to success.  It is not going to be easy; but it is well worth it in the end.  

In conclusion then, It makes sense that we should thank our enemies.   Without their catalytic attempts to stop us, they fuel us to go on.  Any obstacle, whether internal or external, should be viewed in this manner if you want to succeed.   Don't run away from your enemies.  Face them, embrace them, and thank them.  Thank them.  Without enemies, it would be more difficult to train and be ready.  Without enemies, we would not feel the call to action.  Without enemies, we would not strive for excellence.  So the next time someone doubts you or worse you doubt yourself and feel the enemy within rearing its ugly head; think about embracing your doubts and finding a logical solution that involves action, passion, and direction.

"Lean into it!"

Ed Naggiar

Remember to check out our Resilience Video of the Day HERE!  

Ed Naggiar is a retired Navy SEAL with a PhD in I/O Psychology with a specialty in training high risk professionals to perform at optimal levels before, during, and after a stressful situation.