LEARN FROM THE PAST. PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE. LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
Life is heavily dependent on our points of view, our paradigms, how we see the world. Most of the time, we travel through our lives at such a pace that by the end of a single day, we feel as though we have burned through so much mental energy that we are exhausted. This happens to us because of many things. We have technology at our finger tips, cable television, one example, with over a thousand (I checked) channels, movies that are released at break neck paces and then on video as soon as they leave the theaters. We have developed our own social media language that constantly drives us to our devices, pulled in every direction by targeted commercials that magically appear on our timelines. We are driven to achieve more and more and more; and taking time off is considered a weakness. As you can see, living in the moment and simply “being” is very difficult to do these days. Constant distractions make it almost impossible; we are constantly pushed to do something, to become a human “doer” instead of a human “being.” Living and more importantly being in the moment escapes us; we fear that we may get bored or be wasting our time. From a physical and psychological standpoint, down time where our brain does absolutely nothing is not only encouraged, it is critical for our survival and happiness. For example, learning from the past is very useful, but dwelling and ruminating on past events for too long can be damaging. Preparing for the future is equally as useful; but always living for what will be can take cause us not to be happy with our present conditions. Both past and future thinking have their uses, but too much of any one of them causes damage and takes us away from what is truly important, the present moment.
Not living in the present may bring with it a certain level of self-deception of not living in reality. We neglect our own psychological well being when we do not live in the present moment. Self deception occurs when we lie to ourselves; which is the most dangerous of the lies. By constantly living in a world that does not exist (the future or the past), we essentially live a life that is not real or that is full of lies. More specifically, this occurs when we think about what might have been in the past or what will be in the future. Both not grounded in reality! An example of this is when people dream about winning the lottery or another far fetched event. Time spent dreaming about such things is time that can be spent enriching our own lives, learning something new that is practical useful, or better yet helping others to achieve their dreams. Instead of dreaming about the future or regretting the past, how about developing concrete training plans that will help you to achieve your dreams, or write about an event that happened in the past to better learn from the positive and negative effects? Of course this takes time, discipline, and a relentless pursuit of excellence.
Having a relentlessly introspective, critical outlook is essential for the non-emotional, effective use of the past and the future.
Studying the past is essential to human development and can be a fascinating adventure. The past, however, can be full of mistakes or regrets. Learn from the mistakes and move on. Take advantage of the past to more fully live in the moment. Even if you made a serious mistake in the past, the only way to learn from it is to adopt a new set of behaviors that avoids the same mistake in the present. Being stuck on the “what might have beens” and “should have beens” only psychologically bogs you down and takes you away from the things that you want to do in the present.
Life is something that we need to live everyday. Truly living in the moment requires thoughtful skill and the will to avoid distractions from the past and the future. Think about this the next time your mind starts to wander: our time on this earth is finite, don’t waste it on thoughts that take you away from truly enjoying your life and helping those around you enjoy their lives!
Learn from the past; prepare for the future; but, live in the moment!
Assignment
What steps can you take right now to become a human being again and not a human doer? I know that we all have to do things but what are some down time brain activities that you can do to counter balance that to do list? Try to do this for 10 minutes per day and see if you can tell any difference in your stress levels/happiness for the week. Get out into nature and enjoy the weather, without the distraction from devices. Sit with someone else and have a conversation about something that stimulates your mind, without distractions from technology. These are just two examples; I am sure you can think of more.
"Lean into it!"
Dr. N